“I like words…”

12 May

Admittedly, this week’s first item has no direct link to Dunvegan other than the fact my son, who was born and raised here, recommended it to me. He stumbled across an organization in Britain that’s dedicated to celebrating “the enduring power of literary correspondence.” Called Letters Live, they organize events where performers read historical and/or humorous letters to showcase the power of this virtually moribund form of communication. The letter that knocked my socks off is probably the best example of a job application ‘cover letter’ ever. It was written in the early 1930s by Robert Pirosh, a New York copywriter with a burning desire to become a Hollywood screenwriter. I don’t want to spoil the punch line for you, but here’s just a small taste of Pirosh’s prose: “I like words. I like fat buttery words, such as ooze, turpitude, glutinous, toady. I like solemn, angular, creaky words, such as straitlaced, cantankerous, pecunious, valedictory. I like spurious, black-is-white words, such as mortician, liquidate, tonsorial, demi-monde…”

If you need a short break from the cloak of gloom that the past year or so of Covid has settled on our shoulders, search the Letters Live YouTube channel for Pirosh’s cover letter being read by Benedict Cumberbatch (who plays Holmes in the recent TV drama Sherlock.) As one of the comments noted, “For all those people who say they would listen to Benedict Cumberbatch read the dictionary… this is probably as close as it will get!” It’s worth noting that this superbly crafted letter worked. It resulted in three job interviews and a position as a junior screenwriter at MGM. Pirosh went on to win an Oscar and a Golden Globe award.

“Chalky mouth feel”

Yes, I know that I promised the Wolf River apple story was done. However, the issue of what the fruit tasted like was never settled to my satisfaction. So when Tammy Johnson-Jodoin rang me up with last-minute accounts of her and her family’s Wolf River experiences, I tucked them away for a slow news day. Like today.

It turns out that the maternal side of Tammy’s family has had a long association with this unusual variety of Malus domestica. Her 87 year-old aunt still remembers late summer excursions to an orchard east of Morrisburg to gather the plus-sized fruit — some of which could weigh up to a pound — for Tammy’s great grandmother’s kitchen. And, as chance would have it, when Tammy lived east of Maxville, the laneway was lined with apple trees, a number of which were prodigious producers of Wolf River apples. As for the variety’s taste profile, Tammy remembered it as being kind of bland. “I noticed someone else said it was tart,” she replied in an email. “I don’t remember thinking that at all… the texture was chalky, not crisp like a MacIntosh.” But, when they were cooked, it was an entirely different story. “They made a tasty apple pie, apple sauce or apple cake, and a really yummy apple crisp,” Tammy told me. “I can’t explain it, but the flavour came to life when cooked.”

Business archaeology

I wanted to take time today to thank another anonymous contributor. An envelope arrived in our barn board mailbox a few weeks ago with an envelope that bore only my name, address and the requisite stamp. Inside was an article from the July/August 2010 issue of Fifty-five Plus Magazine entitled “Glorious Glengarry: A Touch of Scotland in Eastern Ontario.” It was a testament to the effectiveness of the travelogue genre. After reading Madeline Kallio’s piece, I wanted to hop in the car and visit Glengarry… and I live here. The three well-thumbed pages provided a brief history of the County from the time Scottish settlers from the Western Highlands arrived in 1773, and then focused on some of the towns, villages and hamlets of North Glengarry.

Ms. Kallio concluded her tour of the North with a quick overview of Dunvegan, summing us up a touch dismissively, I thought. “Dunvegan has a number of residents and is home to the Glengarry Pioneer Museum…” To be fair though, she may have been exhausted from her day-trip to the Glen and just wanted to get back to the city, tout suite.

Like the layers of time laid open by an archaeological dig, the article showed just how difficult it is to keep a small rural business afloat when urban centre malls are just 30 or 40 minutes away. I was shocked at how many of the enterprises featured in this day-trip overview no longer exist, for example: Desrosiers & Hope Jewellers, Alexandria County Depot, Field’s Department Store, 2 Beans Café, Two Doorz Down Ice Cream Parlour and the Apple Hill Mini-Mart. And this list doesn’t include businesses that weren’t mentioned in the article.

Who pays? Tim’s or us?

Way back in the early, early spring, Terry and I got tied up in Vankleek Hill by roadwork being done for the new Tim Horton’s there. As we waited patiently for the one lane of traffic to shift to our direction, I wondered who was paying for the changes to Highway 34… Tim’s or the taxpayer? I didn’t have the answer, but I knew who would: our good friend Benjamin de Haan, Director of Transportation and Planning with the United Counties of Stormont, Dundas and Glengarry.

So I posed a hypothetical question. When a fast food restaurant or coffee shop is built in Dunvegan and changes are required to County Road 24 (for example, road widening to incorporate turning lanes)… will the the cost of this roadwork the responsibility of the Counties? Or does the business owner pay a portion, or all, of the cost? Now this may sound a bit far fetched, but it could happen. Even with everybody staying at home, the number of commuters on Dunvegan Road during the morning and evening rush hours is impressive.

Here’s what Mr. de Haan had to say. “Generally speaking, the business is responsible for all the direct infrastructure costs that are associated with the construction of their business… the County would require the owner to provide us with a traffic study which shows the impact on existing traffic. The traffic study would also make recommendations on how to mitigate the impact, which may include features such as turning lanes, tapers or even traffic signals. These improvements would be part of their construction.” In other words, Tim’s or Mickey D’s would pay the freight. That said, Mr. de Haan explained that there are circumstances where Municipalities may share the cost. “One such example… is in Winchester. (The) developer needed to install a storm sewer on the County road. (The County) also wanted to make improvements to the sewer, so, we are paying the ‘extra’ costs to achieve these improvements.”

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